Zombies on the loose!

This is a special news announcement.

Over to our local reporter in Milton Keynes.

Around 1pm yesterday, in a suburban area, Zombies escaped from a house in Milton Keynes.

These zombies were in an insecure area (a box on the back step airing after spraying) when a gust of wind liberated them from their flimsy confinement,

After a quick search 5 were rounded up and confined more securely.

After a further search in the grounds 3 more were captured and confined similarly.

There are two still on the loose with no sightings or mutilated corpses yet reported. 

The police have put out a public warning not to approach them as they are highly dangerous 'Kings of War' zombies. Further, they advise not to enter derelict properties and be careful in wooded or bushy areas where they can easily be hidden from view until the last moment, and surprise anyone passing by. These zombies are highly aggressive and will attack on sight. If seen report to the local police or your nearest zombie hunter.

A picture showing what the zombies will look like if encountered

But this raises the question of why zombies were in a suburban area at all. 

It is believed that Kings of War' zombies, bred for war, are currently being used to fight pillagers in Felstad, that frozen city thawing in the far north These, on the other hand, were being prepared to fight pillagers in Zombicide, in suburban settings.

When asked why the army are not called in to deal with this a police spokesperson said 'Have you never watched a police series or 'Dirty Harry'? From Dixon of Dock Green through The Sweeny,  Cagney and Lacey, or The Wire? We always get our man, woman, zombie'.

The householder is helping police with their ongoing enquires.

It must be said, there are a lot of pillagers currently throughout the UK, and indeed, throughout the world.

Since the dawn of roleplaying zombies have roamed many games and have been the cause of many deaths to those entering places where it is forbidden to enter. Now, they are being used to prevent pillagers and looters in open locations but at some risk to the world at large.

Your local reporter in Milton Keynes